Brief Plot Synopsis: What happens when you get a giant, fire breathing lizard that ransacks some dwarf’s homeland, a grey robed hippie wizard who likes to ‘Volunteer’ people for jobs, a brown robed hippie wizard that likes hedgehogs, and a clueless midget? You get a movie full of some of the most epic beards ever seen in one place, band together to kick some orc and goblin ass.
I am the first one to admit I am a big fan of the Lord of the Rings Trilogy of movies. In fact I will list them as my personal favorite movies of all time. Peter Jackson hit the nail on the head with those flicks and gave the world some modern day classic movies based on a legendary fantasy tale. So going into ‘The Hobbit’ I knew he had some big expectations to meet. Not from me per se but from the movie watchers and Tolkien fans of the world. So how did Peter Jackson do with ‘The Hobbit’? Well folks he did an excellent job despite a few minor things I will get to in the review and the fact he turned a single small book into a three part trilogy of movies.
As I just mentioned, ‘The Hobbit’ has been turned into a trilogy of movies from a relatively small novel which to me smells of the studio sniffing money by trying to squeeze out as much money from a turnip as possible. Luckily however when Tolkien created his Middle-Earth world and characters he was a meticulous note taker and was known to flesh out histories and back stories of his world and characters in other notes not included in the original story. So what Peter Jackson did was take these extra notes and place them into the movie to chronologically fit into the events of the original story. I will be the first to admit I am not a Tolkien scholar and do not know all there is to know about these extra tidbits, but a friend of mine told me he went and researched the things in the movie that were added and said they actually fit into the story like they were supposed to. So to that end I will give Peter Jackson a job well done and it was really nice to see the extra touches to the story even though it was a bit different to what I was used to.
So let’s talk about the movie itself. The movie starts off giving us a bit of back story of the Dwarven Kingdom of Erabor and how the dragon Smaug came, BBQ’ed some dwarves, took their gold and told those bitches to get out, leaving the dwarves homeless and exiled. We then flash forward to 60 years before the Lord of the Rings Trilogy of movies and we see a young Bilbo Baggins living a content life in his hole in the ground. Until Gandalf the Grey arrives and makes sure he doesn’t stay content for long. Gandalf basically invites thirteen dwarves to Bilbo’s home for a meeting to discuss going back after their treasure and home and also ‘volunteering’ Bilbo to be their burglar. Also, is it just me or would a dwarves barber in Middle-Earth be a rich man…those beards are pretty fantastic on those dwarves.
As the journey unfolds we are treated to all manner of dangers the group gets themselves into. We have Trolls looking for dwarf dinner, a albino orc that is much more dangerous than any orc you would try to kill in Dungeons and Dragons for 10 XP, necromancers, orcs riding giant ass wolves (wargs), living mountains, goblins that apparently need some iodine and or course Gollum.
The movie itself looks absolutely fantastic and for the most part believable. The CGI is of course sometimes CGI which is fine but sometimes you can tell it. Overall though, the movie is very beautiful and well done. The story flows very well even with the extra notes added. The movie has everything a fantasy buff would want and any fan of the Tolkien movies will love this.
On a flip side of things there were a few things that didn’t sit well with me. One was with the humor that was added in. Now I don’t expect to hear medieval style prose or humor in the movie, I get that, but there were some things the characters said here and there that didn’t seem to fit or wouldn’t be something that you would think would be spoken by certain individuals. Don’t get me wrong what was said was funny but also out of place a bit. Also, there were a chase scene or two that I thought was way over the top and really took me out of what was going on. I won’t mention where in the movie but when you see it you should be able to pick up on it. I just thought it was too much in how it was executed.
These however are minor things as long as they don’t get overdone in the upcoming two movies. ‘The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey’ is a truly fantastic film and you should go out and buy the DVD when possible and view it. You won’t be disappointed and it will take you away from the realities of our own world and let you take a bit of an unexpected journey of your own.
Things I Learned from This Movie:
- Gandalf is kind of an asshole. I wouldn’t want someone volunteering my ass to get incinerated by a dragon on top of him inviting people into my own home.
- Elves are also kind of assholes riding on their giant ass moose and just watching the dwarves get their asses handed to them then just turn away.
- Dwarf beards are pretty epic all way around. Middle-Earth barbers must be one of the best trained workers in the realm.
- Goblins need to invest more in sturdy bridge construction.
- The Goblin King must need iodine…that’s one hell of a goiter there dude.
- Luke Skywalker must have been an orc in a former life.
- Trolls like to use snot as soup ingredient.
- I found out that if you bend the forks and crack the plates, that’s what Bilbo Baggins Hates.
- Radagast the Brown wizard needs to take a bath…also he was the seventh doctor in the Dr. Who series of shows.